Those who insist on parading their outrageously squeaky bunny slippers around the house, and those who can’t stand the thought of not being able to display their grotesquely large big toe.
Those who can’t stop grazing on little sugary treats all day because #selfcare, and those who have been in a bad mood for the past40 days because kale chips are just as good.
Those who’ve ordered a giant Instagram-approved lampshade that functions more like a patio umbrella than home decor, and those who will never get rid of their poor excuse for lighting because it was the first thing they saw at Ikea when they moved to college.
Those who always buy in bulk like they’re Steve Martin in Cheaper by the Dozen even when they know 20 pounds of anchovies will only end in gout, and those who always buy it fresh even though you scream horrifically every time you walk in on the murder party going down in the kitchen sink.
Those who hang the toilet paper over (with the loose end draped over the top), and those who hang the toilet paper under (with the loose end hanging next to the wall). Both are nuts.
Those who’ve spent every night hand-sewing a costume for their cosplay character, and those who don’t know what in the world that is, and frankly, do not care to find out, but also do not have interests outside of complaining about everyone at work.
Those who swear by their cappuccino with oat milk, two pumps of chai, extra foam, extra hot, and have spent the better part of the quarantine unsuccessfully recreating it, and those who drink instant, and have been telling everyone online how good it is a little too passionately.
There are two types of people in quarantine and lucky for you, you just might be living with one of them.
